Social media has been buzzing today with the story of the Manhattan dad who refused to take his child to McDonald’s for dinner yet offered him any other choice of restaurant for dinner, or ultimately, no dinner at all, and now as a result of this, is having his ability to parent his child called into question.
David Schorr, the father in question (also an attorney) is in what appears to be a rather contentious custody battle for his son, and this “meal denial” in question happened to occur on an evening when Schorr had visitation with his son. The estranged wife found out when the son tattled on his dad, and now the court-appointed shrink in the case is telling the presiding judge that Mr. Schorr is unfit to raise his child. Schorr basically told his child if he was going to have a fit about not going to McDonald’s, he could go without dinner.
Of course, social media being what it is, there’s a lot of righteous indignation from both sides; the folks who avoid McDonald’s at all costs and applaud his decision, and then there are the anxious Annie’s out there wringing their hands and clutching their pearls because even McDonald’s would have been better than going to bed with an empty tummy. I guess you can tell which side of the fence I’m sitting on by my last remark.
When all was said and done, the little boy’s tantrum apparently paid off because mom ended up taking him to McDonald’s anyhow. Way to go mom! Way to reward bad behavior and fill your kid full of processed food, loaded with chemicals, sodium and sugar. I can’t wait to see just how entitled this kid ends up being when he hits adulthood, not to mention whether he’s obese or not. If you’re willing to give in so easily when it comes to something like McDonald’s, it makes me wonder what else you’re going to overlook and then reward?
Had I been in Mr. Schorr’s position, I would have done the same exact thing. It’s my obligation as a parent to provide the best nutrition I am capable of. McDonald’s in no, way, shape or form falls under that category, and I am neither financially indigent or uneducated when it comes to a meal appropriated from McDonald’s versus, oh let’s say, Applebees, or hell, even the corner diner on occasions when you chose to, or have to dine somewhere other than home and aren’t able to cook a meal yourself. Mr. Schorr has the resources to provide a much more nutritionally sound meal than what was available at McDonald’s and here he sits now, with a court-appointed shrink making claims that he isn’t fit to parent his son.
Well, if that’s the case, there are a lot of us that should probably be deemed unfit. There is no way in hell I’m going to cave in to the demands of a tiny tyrant who isn’t getting her way, when to do so would mean giving her something that can actually be more harmful to her body, than healthful. That’s not to say my child has never had a meal from McDonald’s. I can count the number of times she’s eaten their food, on both hands. In the past two years that number is zero. I know better, but more than that, I want better for Gaby! I’m not saying that if you choose to give your child McDonald’s on an occasional basis, you’re a bad parent. For me and my child though? I know the risks associated with eating fast food, and I know what their food has done to me, and I simply don’t want it to be part of my daughter’s life, not when I’m able to provide better.
Were Gaby to have a meltdown because I hadn’t placed a hot Happy Meal in her hands when she demanded it? She’d find herself in bed in a hot minute, empty tummy or not. There have been two, possibly three occasions when she was younger and had a tantrum in a department store, or the grocery store because she didn’t get her way, and you know what I did? I pulled her unhappy butt out of the store, leaving my shopping for later, took her home, and put her in her room with zero access to toys, television, or anything else she liked, until the tantrum passed, and then we talked about how I understood how frustrating it must be to not get something you’d really like to have, but throwing a fit wasn’t an OK way to behave in that situation.
Kids are going to have tantrums. You can either give in, thereby creating a monster, or you can remove the child from the situation, talk to them on their level and explain in terms they understand why the tantrum wasn’t cool, and move on with your day. There’s been once when Gaby has gone to bed without dinner because she decided she wasn’t going to eat what I prepared for dinner and then she decided to cop an attitude on top of that and demanded I cook her an entirely different meal from what the rest of us were eating. That doesn’t fly in our home! She’s not ever required to clean her plate, but she’s going to try what she’s given, and eat the things she does like, and not act as if she’s at Burger King when it comes to meal time. No, she can’t have it her way. That’s not to say she has zero say in meals; quite the contrary. She helps me plan our meals each week, and is getting old enough to help prepare them as well. However, it’s still up to Gareth and me, as her parents, to decide what’s in her best interest nutritionally. Left up to her own devices, she’d have pasta and ice cream 24/7!
What ever happened to being able to stand up and be a parent, a loving parent who cares about what sort of food goes into their child’s body, without the threat of our parenting coming under extreme scrutiny and potentially threatened? I understand that this is probably a very querulous divorce between the parents and that this is most likely the mom’s way of making things even harder on Schorr, but in my opinion, she’s doing her son a huge disservice by not only having taken him to McDonald’s despite his father’s decision not to, but to respond in such a way that shows her son that she isn’t capable of co-parenting in a manner that reflects the best interest of the child. That? That’s sad.
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