Over the past couple of months Gaby has been asking for a loft bed. Once upon a time she saw what she thought was the mother of all loft beds and hasn't let go of the idea since. With a price tag of $15,470.00 the Posh Tots bed is way out of our league! Like by about $15,200.00 out-of-our-league! Most of the other loft beds we've looked at are really cute and have great storage niche's that really add to the desirability factor, but the price is still a huge deal. Those beds typically run in the neighborhood of $1500.00.
I was talking to a friend about our bed dilemma and she suggested looking at IKEA. We have never been to IKEA. I said, "Oh you mean that place where they send you home with a huge box filled with bits and pieces, not unlike Legos, and the picture on the box is what it's supposed to come out looking like but what it actually ends up looking like is that a bunch of drunk baboons assembled it? Oh sure, I'd consider looking at IKEA for a loft bed for Gaby . . .in a parallel universe."
Gaby brought up the loft bed today because we've been working on "aging" her bedroom a little bit. She's ready to move away from little girl stuff and wants more big girl stuff. So, out of curiosity, I went out to the IKEA website and browsed and found this bed. I know, it's pretty bare bones, but it is within our budget. With some paint, curtains, and a few crafty touches here or there, I'm pretty sure we could take it from Swedish Children's Jail Cell, to something Gaby would really like. Well, I hope anyhow.
So I was wondering exactly what size mattress the bed accommodated and I decided to use the "Ask Anna" feature on the IKEA website. What I should have done was just wait until Gareth came home from work, have him dig out the tape measure, measure Gaby's mattress and then compare it with the measurements on the page for the Kura bed. But since when do I ever do anything with any sort of logic applied to it?
I assumed that "Anna" was any one of many helpful customer service representatives just waiting to answer my question. That was my very first mistake.
Initially I asked "Anna" what size mattress that bed accommodated and she sent me a link to page with several mattress options that IKEA sells. So then I asked her, "Can you see the specific mattress SIZE the Kura bed accommodates?"
Apparently I got a little too personal for Anna . . .
click to enlarge images
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Anna told me, "I'd prefer not to talk about my sight. Let's talk about IKEA instead!"
Of course, my first thought was, "Are you screwing with me?"
So I then I asked her specifically if a twin mattress would fit in a Kura bed? In response she just sent me on another mattress wild goose chase, but then she asked me if her suggestion was helpful?
I was honest with her . . .
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Apparently Anna doesn't understand the meaning of the word "No." Hey, I'm only quoting her!
It was around this time that I began to think that Anna didn't really resemble an attractive Swedish model.
Instead, I was forming an image of Anna in my head that looked a bit like this . . .
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
OK, well maybe a little less violent looking.
Now, because I'm a rather direct kind of person, I decided to ask Anna exactly what she was . . .
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
She might very well be a cyborg, but not a very bright one! I asked her if she was a 'borg and somehow she interpreted that as me introducing myself as "Borg."
By that point I was frustrated and let her know as much . . .
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Once upon a time I had entertained the thought of hitting up the PR folks at IKEA and inquiring as to whether they wanted a little free publicity in exchange for letting us test drive that loft bed. Of course, now that I've outed the cyborgs that are the not-so helpful souls behind Anna, I'm pretty sure that the cyborgs lovely folks in the PR department aren't exactly going to be real eager to partner with me!
©2013 "Barking Mad". Use of this feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this article in your feed reader, then the site is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact me at iambarkingmad@gmail.com
The post I’m Pretty Sure IKEA is Run by Swedish Cyborgs! appeared first on Barking Mad.