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(Gareth sweetie, this is one of my posts you don’t have to read. Seriously, you can just go back to checking the football scores on the BBC site. Oh and Bob, I’m swearing, but just a little bit! Forgive me, pretty please? There isn’t a single F-bomb! )
I should have added “Diva Cup” into the title of this post as well, but it just sounded funny. Plus, I’m not a huge fan of the little silicone cups designed to catch your menstrual flow. I know I know, they’re so Eco-friendly and so much easier to deal with than messy tampons or pads . . . no actually, they aren’t – not for me anyhow. And seriously? I have no desire to find myself in a public restroom and need to rinse out a full Diva Cup. That’s a little bit more than any stranger needs to know about me. And? Ewwww.
This isn’t a post endorsing some brand new feminine product, but it is a post about the overall feminine monthly condition and this thing I just read about called “Period Shaming” and then another movement that I hope to God isn’t gaining any sort of serious traction; “Free bleeding.”
Another warning, this post is going to be chock-full of “WTF!” because seriously, after reading Kenda’s post about this- the article that initially set me off, I still can’t stop rolling my eyes or shaking my head!
First of all, let’s talk about “Period Shaming” shall we?
Who, in their ever-loving right mind, outside of maybe 12 year old boys, would go around shaming/making fun of a woman who gets or is on her period? I mean come on, let’s call a spade a spade, it’s bullshit. Yes, it’s a completely natural function of the maturing/mature female body, but at no time should a young woman or adult be made to feel as if what comes naturally and is a monthly expectation, is shameful or horrid! I know that men can sometimes be asses when it comes to a female partner (and to be fair, I have lesbian friends who even admit that their partners can occasionally be a little put out by the fact that no one is getting any because Aunt Flo made her anticipated appearance) who is temporarily out of commission due to her period. I know there are a lot of women who don’t postpone sex due to their period, I’m not one of them, and it’s not because I feel shamed. It’s simple really, it’s because I’m already a big enough pain in the butt that time of the month and I don’t want to have to deal with stained sheets, towels, or anything else. I can promise you though, my husband has never complained . . . probably because he knows if he did, the claws would come out. No, I’m just kidding. He knows I’m kind of a clean freak and I’d really rather not deal with it. Bring on menopause! OK so now that you all know way more about my sex life than I’ve ever shared before, and will ever share again, let’s move on.
My point about period shaming? I feel it’s right up there with shaming women who breastfeed in public. Don’t be a jackass and make the mistake of making someone feel like what is a natural body function is a huge personal inconvenience to you, or by the same token, for those who feel like society is telling them that self care (using products like pads, tampons, menstrual cups) while on their menses is akin to oppression, well, here’s what I think of that . . . I think it’s utter and complete bullshit! This idea of taking care of our period has apparently lead to the “Free bleeding” movement.
From an article about it over at Feministing:
“So, enter the idea of “free bleeding.” More of a mindset than it is an action, the idea is, as this blog title gives away, letting ourselves bleed. No judgement, no worries about messiness or cleanliness. Just letting it happen.”
Well, pardon me for stating the obvious, but we’ve evolved as a species and no longer have to excuse ourselves to the mythical “Red Tent” that time of the month, and can now function entirely normally thanks to modern conveniences like tampons, feminine pads, and menstrual cups. I consider it a common courtesy to members of the human race to not walk around with blood streaming down my legs, making total strangers wonder if they need to call 911 for fear that I’m about to bleed to death, nor do I want to leave a personal calling card on the furniture at places I might sit while visiting. Yes, I understand that having a period is a gloriously wondrous thing (or so the pamphlets and guide books want you to believe – but when you’ve been at this for 32 years and your are absolutely done having kids, you tend to be over it already. Totally and completely over it.) that our bodies do to let us know we’re ready to bear children. I don’t feel enslaved to little absorbent cotton tubes for 4 days once a month because society makes me feel dirty if I don’t. In order to made a point, there’s even a photo essay on the “free bleeding” train of thought. Warning, the photos could be considered graphic.
Honey, you’re period is indeed as natural as are hydrangeas and horse shit, the difference is, one is to be put in a vase or left on the vine to admire, and the other is something we all know happens, but don’t need visual confirmation of. Nor do I need to see evidence of the fact that you’re physically expressing your womanhood.
To push the whole “Well, it’s totally natural” mantra I’m hearing surrounding the “free bleeding” concept; we poop, which is completely natural and expected (otherwise you’re in a world of trouble, and there is either an enema or laxative in your future if you haven’t done so recently) yet you don’t see the majority of us walking around, complaining about feeling oppressed because we practice good hygiene and self care after a routine trip to the loo, do you? As my friend Chuck stated, after I’d posted on Facebook about this:
“I read the thing you commented on. I’m sorry, but that’s no different than not wiping your ass. Defecating is a natural act too, but no one wants to know about it”
He went on to say that, in regards to those advocating “free bleeding”,
“ . . . These people are jokes and are not advancing the equality of women, they are making feminism a joke.”
I tend to agree with Chuck on both points.
I promise you, I’m not going to think less of you, or in any way feel you’re hiding your feminism if you leave the house wearing whatever sort of feminine protection you chose. I’m also not going to shame you, make fun of you, or belittle you in any way should said protection fail you. I might very well offer you whatever I’m carrying with me (which usually includes baby wipes because HELLO, I’m often in the company of a two year old or seven year old!) because I’m polite like that, and I’ve also been in that situation. Plus, I’m a grown-ass woman and it behooves me to act like one. I get it, it’s your uterus, but I don’t want, or need to know what’s going on in there!
If “free bleeding” all over your flowery bedroom furnishings is your thing, fine, but don’t attempt to try and con the rest of us into believing we’re being manhandled by misogynists and society in general because we “burden” ourselves with using some form of means to protect our clothing and furniture from the monthly tide.
One final point when it comes to “letting ourselves bleed” . . . darlings, we do that naturally, and short of pregnancy, menopause, or some other act of biology that might keep us from menstruating, it happens whether we are using a tampon or not!
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